Title: Rising Faith Doomed Fate
Author: Koren Agape (as beeninashell4longtime)
and Professor Keiadara Wildfire
Rating: T
Parts: One-shot
Pairing: Koren - Yfel
Summary: The curse was broken but Yfel still left her. Ten years later, six years after Yfel left, they bump into each other at Hogwarts.
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.
Notes: Edited version, rewrite by Professor Keiadara Wildfire. Lyrics were discarded. Flashbacks, thoughts, emphasized dialogs are in italics, emphasized flashbacks are in bold italics.
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"It astounds us to come upon other egoists, as though we alone had the right to be selfish, and be filled with eagerness to live."
- Jules Renard, 1887
"What happened to me? Nothing," she whispered as she looked out the large glass window of her office, the bright light from the sun covering her tears. She heard the door lock click and she hastily wiped her tears away then turned her head slightly towards the door. Her secretary came in, trying not to look at her employer's face, a small white envelope and some documents in her hands.
"I need your signature for these Ms. Agape. And a letter came for you."
For five years now, the name Koren Kynthia Bernice Kyneta Agape is famous around the agriculture industry. Her company owned multi-million businesses in agriculture and the achievements her company has acquired are unrivaled.
Koren walked to her secretary, took the documents and skimmed through them. Satisfied with the contents of the documents, she picked up an expensive looking pen from her desk and quickly signed her name. She looked at her secretary, handed her the documents, and took the letter. The secretary walked out and silently closed the door.
The envelope was faced-down, the name of the sender hidden from her view. At first, – her hopes rising – she thought that it might be from him. But as she turned the envelope over, the unmistakable emblem of Hogwarts greeted her and she cursed.
What the hell do they want now?!
She sat down and grabbed a gleaming silver letter opener from her desk, an urge to rip the letter to shreds going through her. Acknowledging that it was a childish thought, – she was beyond that; she was 28 years old for goodness' sake – she carefully opened the letter and saw that it was from Professor Wildfire. Skimming through the letter, her eyes clouding with rage with every line she read.
She wants me to teach Arithmancy? Bullshit! Why?
Koren tossed the letter on her desk, and tried to calm down, deciding whether to accept Professor Wildfire's request or to run away.
"What's wrong again?" he asked, sitting up to run his fingers through Koren's hair.
"It has nothing to do with you," Koren breathed.
"We're friends. What's wrong – "
"Yfel, you're – " She paused thinking of the term to describe their relationship, " – the only friend I trust. I can't do this. I just can't do this with you." She got off Yfel and quickly buttoned up her uniform.
Yfel stood up and turned away from Koren. "Someday Koren, you'll figure out what it is you want from me. But I'm afraid that when that time comes, I might not be here anymore. And I won't even care."
Koren watched him walk away, tears cascading down her cheeks.
The journey to Hogwarts was a disaster. Apart from her driver picking her up late from her villa, her car broke down which forced her to ride a cab that smelled like it took a swim in the ocean. The cab driver was a nosy little bugger, asking her about her business and where she was headed to and why. To make matters worse, all her things fell from her luggage as she lifted it from the cab's trunk because she forgot to close it again when she retrieved her wallet from inside her luggage. It was a miracle she didn't miss the train to Hogwarts. But luck wasn't on completely on her side. On the train, there was a sixth year student who kept eyeing her, pissing her off. Already annoyed beyond her limit, she was tempted to turn the damn kid into a goat.
Thankfully, the welcoming feast for the first years and new teachers was pleasant. She found out that she was just a temporary Arithmancy master while they were looking for a replacement. That means she wouldn't have to spend too long at Hogwarts. She couldn't really handle leaving her business to her subordinates. Looking to the right, she noticed the empty seat beside her and she wondered who it belonged to. Her thoughts were interrupted when she saw Professor Wildfire, a bright smile gracing her lips, approaching her and she stood and gave a small smirk in greeting.
"Koren!" As she reached her former student, Professor Wildfire hugged Koren tightly. She released Koren and urged her towards the Arithmancy classroom. "How was the train ride? Let me guess – "
"A disaster! To sum it all up, I was so pissed I wanted to turn a sixth year pervert into a damn goat. The welcoming feast was the only good part of my 'journey' back to my roots," Koren exclaimed, cutting off Professor Wildfire, her exasperation with the journey evident in her voice.
Professor Wildfire laughed at Koren's story, amazed at how Koren barely changed. "You really need to keep your temper in check. At least you didn't turn the kid into a goat." They entered the Arithmancy classroom and walked towards the room that will serve as Koren's chambers while at Hogwarts. "This is your bedroom, while this is your study, and outside is your classroom as you well know," Professor Keiadara said, pointing to the different rooms.
Koren silently walked towards the window and softly touched the clear glass. This school holds too many memories.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," a tinge of sorrow in her voice as she replied without turning to look at Professor Wildfire. She let her hand slip from the window and turned towards her former professor with a smile. "I'm just strangely excited to be here."
Both ladies laughed.
Six hours and thirty minutes have gone by since Professor Wildfire left and Koren could not sleep, haunted by her past.
Yfel walked into the Slytherin common room and was greeted by the sight of a Ravenclaw kissing Koren's temples. Their eyes met and they held each other's gaze for a minute. Yfel shook his head and walked away. Koren pushed thoughts of Yfel from her mind, resisting the urge to run after him. She looked at the Ravenclaw whose name she already forgot and continued doing what she was good at.
The first class was almost perfect except she was still feeling a bit too sleepy. Her dreams were plagued with him and she woke up drenched in sweat. She decided to walk around the school while she had her break. As she rounded the corner towards the courtyard, she bumped into a person, causing them both to fall to the ground. She opened her eyes to look at the man – definitely a man she thought as she felt his muscular chest under her hands – below her and stared into familiar blue eyes. It was Yfel.
"I'm sorry," Yfel murmured.
There was a moment of silence.
"Oh hell no!" Koren shouted without thinking. She hastily stood up and patted her dress, trying to hide the uneasiness she felt. Why is he here? her mind screamed. She looked up and saw Yfel smiling at her and felt another rush of embarrassment. "I mean hello," she muttered, a blush staining her cheeks. "Excuse me. I've got to go." She backed up and strode towards Professor Wildfire's classroom.
"Bullshit Professor! What were you thinking when you asked me to come and teach here? Here with – " Koren exclaimed as she marched towards the professor's desk. Koren paused when she saw Professor Wildfire smiling at her. "Are you smiling?"
"Well, first, you really should be calling me Keiadara or Wildfire as we're colleagues now. And you've walked right into my classroom as I'm giving a lecture. Exquisite timing though. I was just giving a lecture on boggarts," Professor Wildfire replied, humor in her eyes.
Koren looked around and saw the Defense Against the Dark Arts students whispering among themselves and looking at Koren with curious eyes. She turned to Professor Wildfire and tapped the edge of her desk. "Please visit me later. We need to talk," she said with as much dignity as she could muster. As she walked out the classroom, she could still hear the whispers of the students and head Professor Wildfire telling her class to settle down. That was embarrassing. First with Yfel and now with Wildfire's class. Koren wanted to hide from shame. But most of all, she wanted to hide from Yfel. A tear fell.
Koren grasped his shirt, crashing her lips to his. Yfel was not responding and was trying to pry Koren's hands from his shirt. Aggravated, Koren pushed Yfel on the bed. "I won't say no this time," she hissed. She planted kisses down the length of Yfel's neck down to his collarbone as her hands worked on unbuttoning Yfel's shirt.
Koren wiped the tears that escaped her eyes and briskly walked back towards her room. Please don't let me bump into anyone. Don't let anyone see me breaking down. As she reached her chambers, she flopped on her bed let the tears fall. She was startled when she heard a knock on her door.
"Koren? It's Wildfire. Are you in here?"
Koren closed her eyes and willed her breathing back to normal. She walked towards the door and opened it, letting Professor Wildfire in. Koren turned to Professor Wildfire, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why didn't you tell me he was here?" Koren asked, a mixture of anger and sadness in her voice.
"Yfel has been teaching Study of Ancient Runes at Hogwarts for four years now Koren. I do not know what happened between the two of you but I am not required to tell you about Yfel's stay here. What difference would it have made if I told you he was here?"
"I wouldn't be here! I wouldn't have accepted! I would've thrown your letter in the fire and watched it burn!" she yelled, collapsing to the floor in a heap of sobs. "I'm not a succubus anymore and he still managed to break my heart. He left and I don't know why."
Professor Wildfire went to Koren, her daughter in her eyes, and hugged her tightly. Encased within Professor Wildfire's arms, Koren broke down and wept, all the while wishing the pain away.
Two weeks passed since her encounter with Yfel and it felt like it happened just a moment ago. She did everything she could to avoid Yfel but Hogwarts was too small. Fate seemed to push them towards each other. They'd occasionally pass by each other in the hallways, and they were seated next to each other in the great hall. The students were abuzz with gossip concerning the two of them leaving Koren constantly anxious. She didn't expect Yfel to be affected. After all, she loved Yfel but not the other way around.
It was a cold winter; Koren was back in her villa. Four years have passed since the curse on her was lifted. She was not a succubus anymore. As she stared out the window, tears fell from her eyes, a letter clutched to her heart. Unable to bear the pain, she fell to her knees and sobbed, her tears flowing like rivers. Yfel left her.
A knock on the door halted Koren's thoughts. It was Yfel. She sensed it before she opened the door. Yfel was standing in the doorway, a small smile on his lips, a silent question: May I come in? Koren let Yfel inside and directed him to a chair. She opened her drawer and took out a letter, handing it to Yfel.
"You still have this?" he asked, waving the letter between them.
"I hate being the loser," she whispered as she walked towards the window to stare at the night sky. "I don't accept apology letters." She turned to Yfel and hissed, "What do you want anyway? It's too fucking late to say sorry and it'll be too fucking controversial if one of us went missing. The students are already talking."
"I know you're pressured that I'm here. That's why I'm leaving tonight."
"Well what do you want me to do? Fuck you so that you can leave? Is that some bullshit ritual for vampires?" she yelled, stray tears falling from her eyes. She turned back to the windows to stare at her faded reflection in the glass.
"I would love to fuck you but I can't. And it's not because of my sister – "
"I know. You wrote it on your letter remember?"
"You know as well as I do that I did not write that – "
I know, she thought wearily. "So what? You'll be leaving anyway. I don't need another explanation that I don't understand. Just leave," she grumbled, frustrated and defeated.
Yfel stood and walked towards the door. Koren's soft voice stopped him.
"I was depressed when you left me. Bumping into you so suddenly, all my pent up frustration burst out. I never understood why you left. But I know now that we can never be together. That's the sad truth. It was our fate to be together and have our lack of faith in each other tear us apart. We are both shadows and we need sunlight instead. So goodbye Yfel. Goodbye forever."
Koren touched Yfel's blurry reflection in the window.
The door clicked as it closed.
It was a cold winter; Koren was back in her villa. Four years have passed since the curse on her was lifted. She was not a succubus anymore. As she stared out the window, tears fell from her eyes, a letter clutched to her heart. Unable to bear the pain, she fell to her knees and sobbed, her tears flowing like rivers. Yfel left her.
The sun was shining and the light shone on a letter on the table.
I'm leaving.
What I am doing is not because I want to be free but it is a step towards the person I want to be in the future. I want to see myself excel in different aspects of my life. I want to be the best. And I can never achieve that if I stay with you.
I'm leaving so I can find myself. So that one day, I will not be looking for the missing puzzle in my life and realize that the missing piece is me.
- Yfel
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Comments? Suggestions? Violent reactions? Constructive criticisms are welcome.
Labels: Jules Renard, Koren - Yfel, Koren Agape, Professor Keiadara Wildfire, Yfel Tatsumaki-Fresen